Identity

What is your biggest need?

Sometimes, foolishly, I think that I’ve got nothing better to read on a train journey than a glossy magazine which generally leaves me with the unnecessary impression that I should be richer and prettier. I do, however, enjoy flicking through the brightly-coloured ‘affordable fashion’ pages, particularly when it turns out that my orange suede wedges are still ‘in’.  A little while ago, at Peterborough train station, one article in Glamour caught my attention.

The magazine asked: ‘What’s the secret to being happy and single?’.  The unhelpful and untruthful assumption made by this question is that life is intrinsically less fulfilling as a single person. However, in answer to her own question, the writer offered up the following solution: ‘Meet your right now needs’.

Glamour champions the self-sufficiency of modern independent women by encouraging its readers to ‘stay sane’ and fill the ‘man shaped hole’ by issuing the following advice: ‘call your friends more often, invest in a ‘battery-operated boyfriend’, go bowling, swimming, shopping or simply spend a few weeks with the men in your life who might be up for a friends with benefits arrangement’. 

The writer rightly recognises the error in attaching our sense of identity, self-worth and fulfilment to relationships with other people. Although we can have good and loving relationships, it's often true that when we rest full weight on them, we inevitably let each other down. In some ways, Glamour is right; there is more to life than Mr (or Mrs!) Right and, it is possible to be both single and happy. However, the magazine appears to suggest that without a boyfriend fulfilling my physical, social and emotional needs, It’s my responsibility to ‘fill the man-shaped hole’ and make meaning for my life another way. I’m uncomfortable with this, but determining whether or not the ‘man-shaped hole’ exists is a secondary issues compared to the underlying question posed by this article; what defines me?

Everyone has something, someone, or some combination of factors that defines their identity, sense of happiness and self worth. What defines you? Friends or family , a career, sporting, artistic or musical talent, physical appearance, academic success, a boyfriend (or lack of?), or any combination of the above? This truth begs the question; what, or who, do you rely on to meet your ‘right now’ needs?

However hard I might try, the bible says that it is impossible for me to meet mine without Jesus. All of the gifts he gives me will fail me if I make them my motivation and my ultimate goal. I might secure or lose my dream job, break or make up with ‘mr right’, loose the use of all my fingers or become a professional harp player, but none of this says anything about my biggest ‘right now need’

My ‘right now need’ is a restored relationship with the holy and just God I turned away from. Equally I need daily reminders that Jesus has achieved this for me, through his life, death and glorious resurrection! Thank God that he took the initiative to redeem and reclaim his people as his own, so that we can find our identity in him alone. What a struggle, but what an encouragement to remember that having begun by faith in Jesus, we can continue to live as God’s children, not based on what we do, but by faith in Jesus alone! 

Running the race

Jessica Ennis (Team GB) will be remembered for her convincing heptathlon victory at the London 2012 Olympics. I was glued to her final 800m race last weekend, even though I am a sports novice, and even though, due to a massive points lead, Jessica didn’t even need to win the race to get the gold medal. If committed until the end, she could simply turn up, run the race to completion and claim the victory.

The bible describes living life as a Christian to be ‘running the race’, and during the course of the Olympics this metaphor particularly has captured my attention. What does it mean, to ‘run the race’ if doing so is to live the life God wants for us?

The hepathlon victory for Jessica Ennis, given her points history, was almost a certainty. The race was essentially already won, yet she showed she wasn’t content to win in third place as the athletes reached the final stretch. Knowing the outcome ahead must have given her confidence, and spurred her on to overtake her competitors and run as fast as she could to reach the finish line.

If ever there is a race that has been won before it has even begun, it is the ‘race’ marked out for the life of every Christian. It’s the sprint, or perhaps a steady marathon, between the ‘now’ and the ‘not yet’; we are called to turn from our old lives, throw off the sin that weighs us down, and run the race. This means giving up our old way of live and pressing on to put God above all else, and give him all the glory. If we need something to spur us on, there is the certainty of eternity already won for us by Jesus, our resultant identity as children of God and the promise of the Holy Spirit to help us live new lives shaped by Him.

'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.' - Hebrews 12: 1 - 2 

I’m weak-willed and I tire easily, but the beauty of living the Christian life is that the outcome is fixed - not dependent on my wavering commitment to the cause. I must, however, keep my eyes fixed on Jesus – on whom everything depends. I can’t stop running, and I can’t give up – but my determination shouldn’t come from guilt, duty or pride. The ‘not yet’ promised by God’s word is that the race will be finished, along with my sin and struggles, and that God’s glorious kingdom will come in power. My motivation must be Jesus, who said on the cross ‘it is finished’ and secured for me eternal hope– my faithlessness for his faithfulness and my sin for his righteousness.

So, despite everything, I’m free to run the Christian race with freedom and without fear, assured that the victory is already mine in Jesus. Daily choices are mine to make, but my life has been bought at a price - I need to pray that my actions and words will be shaped by the spirit of this glorious God who will not let me give up. 

Constance L. Pringle MPharm

There are 3 things I want to share with the world today...


1. I've got a degree. I am a Master of Pharmacy (2:1). This cannot be overrated; I am overjoyed, excited and completely astounded

2. The process of getting this degree was the biggest struggle (and also the best experience) of my life so far.


3. I worked as hard as I could, but God deserves all the glory.



^'Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.'
 - Ephesians 3: 20-21

Homemade Worship by Handmade People

I'm in danger of becoming obsessed with Rend Collective Experiment. After spending the jubilee bank holiday under canvas at a music festival called The Big Church Day Out, I've been awoken to a whole new world of music. I've had a massively joyful introduction to those much talked-about bands that I didn't think I was cool enough to listen to. 

As a general rule, I don't buy music unless I'm celebrating something (although this might change when I finally start earning!). Since it was my birthday last week, however, I allowed myself to indulge. I can't recommend 'Homemade Worship by  Handmade People' by Rend Collective highly enough - the whole thing is a celebration in itself!

The lyrics are stunning, dealing directly with human-God relationships. They're honest enough to resonate with my 'concrete heart' but joyful enough to remind me that Jesus is exactly what we need - only God satisfies. 'You are my vision' is a rousing rendition of a favourite old hymn, but 'Build your kingdom here' was the first track to get stuck on repeat. The more I listen, however, the more I'm persuaded that 'The Cost', with its simple yet powerful message about God being worth everything, is the gem of the collection.

'I'm saying 'yes' to you, and no to my desires

I'll leave myself behind and follow you...

I've counted up the cost,

and you are worth it'

Having said this, there isn't a single song on this CD that I don't love; this album excites me for two reasons. First, it uses refreshingly honest lyrics about real life to point to Jesus. Second, musically it is amazing. It's rare to find such a winning combination. I often find its the lyrics to songs that stir my affections and focus my attention in either the right or wrong place, but such an enjoyable well-crafted combination of music and words reminds me just how good God is for giving the gift of singing and dancing. 

Hailing from Ireland, and generally producing a joyful blend of folk-pop that seeks to see more, do more and generally experience more of God, the band would rather refer to themselves as a collective of musicians. 'Welcome to the family!' reads their website, from which you can obtain the record I'm raving about. Trendy perhaps, but I think they make well the point that music isn't about celebrity, looking cool or having it all together. 

I can't imagine how this isn't the kind of music that gets everybody screaming from their rooftops (or at least blogging from their sofas), but of course, it's a matter of style. This might not be everyone's 'cup of tea' but I I'm ecstatic to be discovering Rend Collective for the first time, in slight disbelief that it's taken me this long!

The words are unmistakably christian, and God is certainly at the centre of this record, but I want to recommend it to every friend, regardless of their beliefs about Jesus or lack thereof. This is musical mastery 'for all, not just the religious'.

'All that I am is dry bones,
without you Lord
A desert soul.
I am broken but running
towards you God
You make me whole' - Desert Soul

Growing up

I love the comfort offered by a cup of tea, hot summer sun and simple hymns played well. Adventures, conferences, weekends away and the moment my head finally hits the pillow at the end of a long day. Rainbows and the rabbits on UEA campus, big hugs from close friends and cuddles from my pussy cat, who sits on my tummy and purrs super loud. Listening to an old CD and discovering its excellence all over again, or, listening to a new one and being excited for the first time. Fun days, community spirit, rekindling friendships with old friends and the monumental experience of leaving a university exam hall for the last time!

I love these things because they show me, a little bit, what God is like. God is community - within the trinity and within the Church. God is all about relationships - picnics, conversations at the pub, weekend away and road trips with friends. God is the creator of rabbits and rainbows – through which he reminds us of his perfect, co-existing love and justice. God must be a musical God - the rediscovery and revival of a CD I haven’t listened to in forever reminds me, just a little bit, what it is like to rediscover again His goodness. Listening on repeat, I’m reminded of what absolute foolishness it is to forget in the first place His glory, majesty and absolute sovereignty. So easily distracted from His mighty purposes, I want to be this person who sees Jesus in everything. I can barely see past the end of my nose, but despite my failings and misplaced priorities, God in his grace reveals himself to me. God has revealed himself to me throughout my university experience.

There are no words to describe how I feel about finally finishing my degree, which for a million reasons has been the best and biggest learning curve of my life so far. To put it simply, I am very happy. I was amazed to even turn up, and now, after everything, I am astounded to have completed the course. After a reluctant beginning and a few years quietly contemplating a plan B (as if this was ever my plan A!), I’ve grown surprisingly fond of pharmacy. In a few weeks I might even graduate, which will be a victory in itself – only because I now understand a little more God’s strength in my weakness, my identity in Christ alone and the joy that comes from working for His purposes (see 2 Corinthians 4, Galatians 3 and Colossians 3 respectively). It’s laughable how much I have grown up into my work, and typical that I’m only just beginning to realise the exciting truth that every moment of the last four years has been used by God to show me, and others around me, that he is entirely faithful.

I can’t pretend I’m not devastated to leave uni, but I’m determined to take hold of the life promised me by God himself (1 Tim 6.12) and to live it the best way I know.

‘Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess for he who promised is faithful’
– Hebrews 10. 23

‘Praise to the Lord who doth prosper thy work and defend thee.
Surely his goodness and mercy do daily attend thee
Ponder anew, what the almighty can do
if with His love He befriend thee’
– from the hymn ‘Praise to the Lord the Almighty, the King of Creation’

Rethinking

I get things wrong – a lot.  Sometimes it’s what I say, more often what I don’t say and, of course, it can be the way that I say it. A friend recently challenged me about what I’ve written previously regarding the recent media stir over same-sex marriage.

I intended to remind Christian friends that our words and actions can be harmful and hurtful to gay friends. There are no prizes for working that one out, but ironically, perhaps I demonstrated my own point by accident, when I made the broad assumption that it is possible to be ‘anti-gay marriage’ without being ‘anti-gay’. Although still inclined to agree with what I said previously, I’ve got new grounds to question this assumption. Digging myself into a hole I may be, but one thing is clear; if gay friends don’t see a distinction between being ‘anti-gay marriage’ and ‘anti-gay’ then I need to be less quick to assume that there is one.

Whilst still thinking things through (and for the record, still haven’t signed the C4M petition), it is refreshing to be challenged so firmly by someone who sees things differently. I’m forced to engage with the feelings of my friends because that really matters, and skirting around ‘awkward’ subjects shouldn’t be a thing - especially for christians. This might mean difficult conversations, admitting that I don’t have it sussed and even saying sorry, but I’m thankful to an honest friend for reminding me just how little I know!




'If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing'


1 Corinthians 13. 1 -3 (The Bible)

Everything

You don't have to look far on a Saturday evening to find a plethora of TV shows that feature people striving to achieve their musical dreams, make their relatives proud and be the best. Often, these people appear convinced that the only way to be happy is to find their identity in their abilities, get famous and earn approval from others. Its commonplace to hear contestants claiming that winning the competition 'means everything to me'! These words are both tedious and sad, but will sound familiar if like me, you admit to watching (and even enjoying!)  some of this television gold. I'm talking X factor, Britain's got talent, The Apprentice..the list goes on. 


I'm by no means a die-hard fan, but during the week I caught the end of American Idol. If you're unfamiliar with the format, a contestant (usually the person with the lowest number of public votes) gets eliminated from the competition each week. Fast-forwarding through most of the singing, screaming and crying I found the outcome of this episode greatly refreshing. Get involved with the moment, and skip to 2.50 minutes if you get bored.

This guy was such a graceful runner up. He doesn't seem to count his identity in what he does, how well he achieves or what people think of him. I've never set eyes on him before but it's immediately clear that his life is about more than just music and making it big. However you rate this as a performance, this guy  genuinely points to Jesus as everything. In light of our celebrity-obsessed,fame, fortune and stuff-based culture, what a message for America, and the world! 

Good news Friday

I spent most of this week at New Word Alive, a Christian conference held by the seaside in Wales. Slightly reluctantly, I even took a five day break from my final year research project, and as a result, realised today that (at least for the time being) I’ve stopped dreaming about rheology and specific visco-elastic properties of lipids. This is no bad thing! It was great to switch the drug delivery brain off for a couple of days, relax a little, catch up with friends, and benefit from some exciting bible teaching. Our chalet quickly became party central, crazy golf was crazy and the sea was very cold- although not too cold to swim in!

I found the week exciting and encouraging. However, midweek I began feeling slightly edgy about the idea of it coming to an end. Perhaps you’ll know how that feels - I certainly remember being 13 and rather upset about getting on the minibus to come home from a particularly exciting youth camp, even having just turned 19 and feeling reluctant to fly home from a hot and sunny girls holiday. The familiar feeling goes something along the lines of ‘I love it here and never want to leave’, but my uneasiness this time sprung from the thought of what I was set to return to. To cut a long story short, my final year project has been causing major grief - the task that’s still ahead is, simply put, entirely overwhelming. I have absolutely no problem admitting that in my own strength, I feel like I just can’t do it!

Somewhere in all of this is the liberating acceptance and sure knowledge that God’s strength is gloriously manifest in my weakness. Nevertheless, I’m tempted daily to forget that His hand is at work in all of my struggles and triumphs, whether seemingly insignificant or world-shatteringly important. Teaching this week has reminded me that this is the case, and that there is not one part of my life that doesn’t belong to Christ. Since I have been redeemed by the precious blood of Jesus through his death on the cross, my whole life is his. Furthermore, he is reconciling the whole of creation to himself.  It’s almost easy to rest secure in this hope whilst surrounded by the conference-buzz and receiving hearty gospel reminders several times a day from every angle – what a pleasure and privilege! Yet, I know that I am fickle when it comes to everyday redeemed life and living it like I really believe I am living it for the Lord alone.

I want to be this woman of great godly initiative and integrity who finds her identity in the Lord alone. Bolder please, kinder, more giving of myself and more loving towards the people around me, in the same uncompromising way that God has loved me. I want to seek refuge in God, lean evermore dependently on his everlasting arms and grow my resolve that his purposes are greater than anything I could dream up for myself, or strive for on my own. Can you tell I have been reading the book of Ruth? But despite all of these desires, I wander! I’m so quick to let these longings be overcome by a more comfortable, forgetful apathy. I’m so easily tangled up in the self-reliant panic of ‘I can’t do it!’ when it comes to university work, resenting instead of enjoying the time I spend doing other things. I’m so fast to fix my eyes on what I can and can’t do, rather than Christ and what he has already done. But God’s word says that I should do everything as though I am working for the Lord and not for men, that it is Christ I am serving and the whole of creation belongs to him. I should press on, knowing that the Holy Spirit in me is God’s power to help me fix my eyes on Jesus each day and learn to live in light of his promises.

Why fix my eyes on Jesus? Today is good news Friday – the centre point of real life Christianity.  John Stott said ‘'I could never myself believe in God, if it were not for the cross...in the real world of pain, how could one worship a God who was immune to it?’ This is the real deal – God on a cross, sinless yet suffering to make a way to bring a sinful people back into relationship with himself. Not just removing guilt but delivering the sinless status of Jesus to my own self in the perfect demonstration of divine justice and mercy. It’s not even as though I’d never sinned; it’s as though I was Jesus.

Perhaps you’re reading and not sure, but if we believe this is true, it’s something worth clinging to. Here’s a prayer for the Easter weekend, taken from a book which I indulged in purchasing from the bookshop at New Word Alive, ‘The Valley of Vision’, a collection of puritan prayers and devotions.

O God of Grace,


Thou hast imputed my sin to my substitute,
and hast imputed his righteousness to my soul,
clothing me with a bridegroom’s robe,
decking me with jewels of holiness.


But in my Christian walk I am still in rags;
my best prayers are stained with sin;
my penitential tears are so much impurity;
my confessions of wrong are so many aggravations of sin;
my receiving the Spirit is tinctured with selfishness.


I need to repent of my repentance;
I need my tears to be washed;
I have no robe to bring to cover my sins,
no loom to weave my own righteousness;


I am always standing clothed in filthy garments,
and by grace am always receiving change of raiment,
for thou dost always justify the ungodly;


I am always going into the far country,
and always returning home as a prodigal,
always say, Father, forgive me,
and thou art always bringing forth the best robe.


Every morning let me wear it,
every evening return it in,
go out to the day’s work in it,
be married in it,
be wound in death in it,
stand before the great white throne in it,
enter heaven in it shining as the sun.


Grant me to never lose sight of
the exceeding sinfulness of sin,
the exceeding righteousness of salvation,
the exceeding glory of Christ,
the exceeding beauty of holiness,

Radio Protector

Something a bit different this evening. Whilst trying to wind down from a week of nonsensical data analysis, I've been reminded of an amazing piece of music that I absolutely love. It's seems simple, so I can't wait until next time I'm near enough to a piano to sit down and play it. It has to be said, however, that I'll probably struggle to make it sound as good as this!

Last year I saw 65daysofstatic play at Norwich Arts Centre; although barely a fan at the time I wanted to test the hypothesis that 65dos are one of the best live bands around - a theory put to me by a few others over the years. The rumors were true! It was incredible and definitely up there in musical highlights of my life - enjoy!

Marriage

Perhaps the spring-time weather, lingering royal wedding fever and finishing university have something to do with the fact that lots of my friends are getting engaged at the moment. It’s very exciting! For me, I just can’t imagine knowing another person well enough to want to get married to them – but I guess the saying ‘never say never’ should apply!

Marriage has been in the news lots too recently, clogging up my twitter feed and sparking semi-controversial conversation amongst friends. Potential debates are plentiful and include the well protected traditional ‘one man one woman’ definition of marriage, equal opportunities, and the fine line that separates religious freedom and perceived homophobia.

Although I almost called this blog ‘why I’m not signing the Coalition for Marriage petition’, I won’t compromise my belief that marriage is part of God’s design to unite one man and one woman only. From a biblical perspective, it can’t be anything else. Marriage sounds great, even if at the moment I do see myself growing old single and happy with cats for company. It’s a partnership designed to reflect the relationship between Jesus Christ and his united followers, the Church.

However, I have to recognise that my views about marriage are shaped entirely by my view of God and his marvellous grace; I believe in Jesus Christ –and that only by his death and resurrection can I attain righteousness before God. My opinions about gay marriage are therefore based on this, and my understanding that God’s design is perfect and His rule is best. As with everything, I must remember that as a Christian, the only reason I follow God’s rules is because I trust that His way is the best way (how often I wish that I believed this more wholeheartedly!).

But, I can’t forget that the attitudes of lots of my friends, and most of this country’s policy makers aren’t based on the same core beliefs as mine. How can I expect the country to trust and therefore follow the rightful rule and a perfect design of a God it doesn’t yet believe in or know? 

While I’m still trying to figure out if there is any practical difference between a ‘civil partnership’ (currently legal) and the proposed new ‘civil marriage’, one thing is clear. The person sitting in the seat next to mine at church on Sunday morning might have something different to say about gay marriage, but in light of the gospel of Jesus Christ, it’s a secondary issue.

I’m not going to lie; I don’t care much either way about whether gay marriage is legalised. I’m more inclined to care about the very necessary distinction we must make between being anti gay marriage and being anti gay. I’m sad to say that I’ve read some insensitive literature published by Christian groups on the subject that I would really not want to share with or have to explain to my non-christian friends, regardless of their sexual preferences. Obviously as Christians what we say is key, but the bible champions gentleness and respect in the way that things are said. So, with these reasons in mind, I’ve chosen (at least for now) not to sign to The Coalition for Marriage petition.

I can’t help but wonder why Christians (and I certainly include myself in this) can be so lively when it comes to shouting about religious discrimination and the semantics of secondary issues. Whilst getting involved with politics and making decisions that honour God in every area of our lives is obviously important, our primary focus , and our greatest priority, has to be the identity and mission of Jesus Christ; to know Christ and to make him known.

Where is our overwhelming zeal for the gospel of Jesus Christ above all else? I can’t help wondering why this isn’t the subject that the UK’s church leaders are called for to debate on Newsnight, the subject that we seek to challenge our friends with every day, and the burning question we just can’t wait to raise with our newly elected university student union executive.

Big congratulations to all of my newly (or not so newly) engaged friends!


But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the lab, but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain the resurrection from the dead.


Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenwards in Christ Jesus.


Philippians 3: 7 - 14

Sunday Morning

It's Sunday morning. I can't lie - I've woken up feeling slightly defeated. It's an unusual consequence of my not unusual struggle to get out of bed. This is a day off - one I've been awaiting for 6 days, and yet I don't feel joyful. I can tell myself to 'man up', or read the old school 'Hey Ho Let's Go' mantra up on my bedroom wall, but its no good, unless I remember my identity in Christ. Sometimes it's a case of clinging on to this identity despite tiredness, apathy and overwhelming reluctance to get out of bed. Jesus is Lord over all, and therefore has the right to authority over area in my life. The fact is, that nothing else should matter.

Yesterday I was reading the end of Luke chapter 7 with a friend. There's this woman who disregards every social norm of the time in order to show love, thankfulness and gratitude towards Jesus, in light of the mercy and grace he has shown towards her. She cared more about responding to Jesus than she cared about how others viewed her - what a picture, and what a challenge! It reminds me of this verse I heard at church last week.

'I consider my life worth nothing to me. My only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace' - Acts 20.24

Boom. Time to get out of bed.
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

A joyful noise!

Whilst someone at church made the wild suggestion that this arrangement 'might not be everybody's cup of tea', I am absolutely sure that this song fulfills every one of my metaphorical musical tea party criteria.

While perhaps not to everybody's taste, to my ears this is music at its best - and a stunning reflection of the glorious gospel its words describe. I particularly love the use of the accordion and the last four lines of the lyrics - what a challenging declaration to make! I pray that God would really make us serious about it when we sing it. Keep writing please, Mr Townend and co.!

My heart is filled with thankfulness

My heart is filled with thankfulness

To Him who bore my pain

Who plumbed the depths of my disgrace

And gave me life again

Who crushed my curse of sinfulness

And clothed me in His light

And wrote His law of righteousness

With power upon my heart

My heart is filled with thankfulness

To Him who walks beside

Who floods my weaknesses and strengths

And causes fear to fly

Whose every promise is enough

For every step I take

Sustaining me with arms of love

And crowning me with grace

My heart is filled with thankfulness

To Him who reigns above;

Whose wisdom is my perfect peace;

Whose every thought is love.

For every day I have on earth

Is given by then King.

So I will give my life, my all,

To love and follow Him.